It had been two weeks since the coffee meeting with Khaled. He hadn't left my mind half the time during those two weeks. I kept replaying our conversation over and over. Reliving every detail I could remember. Like the way his blue eyes sparkled when he talked about something he loved. Or how he would every now and then run his fingers through his soft sandy-brown hair. Or the fact that his favorite food is cookies and milk, which I think is absolutely adorable. And somehow one thought kept interrupting my reminiscence, the fact that he has a girlfriend...Peri.
I had been keeping myself, like holding back my curiosity by a leash, from looking for her profile on Facebook and discovering who was so lucky to be with someone as amazing as Khaled. I didn't think anyone deserved him, not even me. So what is it that lead Khaled to be dating Peri? I kept asking myself that question. Until the answer was suddenly put within arms reach of my curiosity.
I had told Farah all about that day, naturally. She was probably more excited than I am, after I told her about all the good stuff. However, she was also very disappointed to hear about Peri.
"I was rooting for you two so hard! I had your adventure together all planned out in my head and everything!" she said to me.
"Don't get me wrong, I was bummed out by the fact that he is dating someone," I started, "but I never had a chance with him in the first place. He's so-"
"Out of your league?" she finished, giving me a one-raised-eyebrow look.
"Hey don't steal my look," I say sarcastically.
"And you don't change the subject," she says a bit sternly. "What makes you think you can't date a guy like Khaled? You're probably way prettier than this Peri character."
"It's not just about my looks. He's 4 years older than me Farah," I begin to say. "He's already graduated university, found a job, as well as achieved a pretty high position in said job, and he's in a relationship with someone who is probably of equal social stature! I'm just beginning to start my life. Why would he waste his time with a kid?"
Farah looks at me for a few seconds. "Yeah..you have a point," she said. Although I knew that it was the truth of the situation, I half expected Farah to disagree with me right off the bat. "But what was it that he said to you back at Retro Cafe? Wasn't it that everything depends on you as a person and not your achievements?"
I looked at Farah with a thoughtful expression. I opened my mouth to say something to disagree, then found nothing to argue with. She really does know what to say.
"Besides, time flies, and soon enough we'll be graduating," she said, with a sad look on her face. "We'll move on to the next phase and you'll catch up to him soon enough."
"You don't seem to be too happy about us graduating," I noticed.
"Yeah. I kinda don't want to graduate, even though I know I will," she says. "I don't want to have to stand on that stage and look at the crowd, knowing that..."
That's when her eyes got sad too, and I knew what she meant.
"It's his anniversary next week, the tenth one," she said solemnly.
Farah's father died in a car crash on his way home from the airport, and the anniversary of his death is next week. I can't believe I forgot. "I wish I had met you when that happened. I wish I was there so I could have given you this hug when you needed it most," I said, and then I hugged her tight with her head resting on my chest and my cheek against her hair.
"Yeah, I could have used this hug back then," she said. "I'm just thankful I got it 5 years ago."
We broke the hug after a minute or two. "Remember how we first met back then?" I said to her smiling, trying to break the sad silence.
"How could I forget? New kid on the block just waltzes right over to me, the most silent kid in class, and sticks her hand out and says ' I'm a lone wolf like yourself. Wanna form a two-person pack?' "
We both break out laughing our asses off. "I can't believe I actually said that. I was such a dork!" I said wiping my tears of laughter.
"You still are!" she jokes, to which I play-punch her in the shoulder. "But you, miss dork, managed to pull me out of that space my head was in, so now I'm returning the favor." She smiles at me. I smile back.
"Alrighty then," she says as she changes the topic, "Let's look at this Peri and see just who she is."
"Wait what?" I ask, befuddled. That's when Farah proceeds to get up and open my laptop. "You are not seriously thinking about stalking Khaled's profile to find her's?"
"That's exactly what I'm doing," she says matter-of-factly. "I'm already going through his profile details."
"What?!" I said, surprised. Damn, she works fast. "But what if he finds out?!"
"How is he gonna find out? It's not like either of us will tell him," she says, he eyes darting back and forth as she reads.
I remain silent. My curiosity's leash slowly but surely breaking as it struggles and pulls towards it's target. That's when I hear an "AHA!"
"Found it! ' Relationship status: Is dating Peri Fouad. ', " she read aloud. I gave up and let my curiosity loose, so I went next to Farah and looked at the screen as she clicked on Peri's profile hyperlink. Loading...
"Oh boy.." Farah says, with her voice low. Meanwhile I just stare in disbelief. Khaled was practically dating a supermodel. She had gorgeous shiny black hair, piercing green eyes, a perfect smile, and the figure to match. She's also the same age as Khaled, has her own interior design studio, and graduated with honors from AUC. 'Discouraging' would have been putting it mildly
"What was that you said again? Out of my league?" I said with sorrow in my voice. "This is a league I'll never catch up to. I mean look at her! She was even top of her class and has a business for God's sake!"
Farah was silent, and looking at me with a sorry look. "I feel bad for getting your hopes up," she says.
"Don't be. It's my fault. I'm just a stupid kid who now knows not to have any expectations," I replied.
"I still think you're prettier," she says, giving me an awkward smile.
"Thanks," I smile back at her half-heartedly.
Do you see now? Do you now know what you are to him? Nothing but a meaningless blast from the past. He has everything so he doesn't need you.
"I know that look," Farah states, cutting off my train of thought. "I know what's going on in that mind of yours. Allow me to say that you are enough, and if not for him, then for someone out there. And you better damn well believe it."
"I'll try," I say, still disheartened.
I should have expected as much. But we were only ever friends, if not less than that. So I'll just get over it. I'll get over him.