Hello and welcome to another thought I had. This thought is among the few I think I should discuss you with you, dear Readers. Today, I'll be talking to you about the sense of independence, and why I think it is a very important trait to have/acquire as a human being.
Depending on those close to you is a good thing, to some extent. I mean sure, you can depend on your parents to have your back, sometimes. And you can depend on a friend to be a shoulder to cry on, occasionally. See where I'm going with this?
So that's why being independent is actually a good thing. Since you can't always count on others, you need to learn how to count on yourself to get what you need, when you need, and how you need it.
However, even though you can be completely independent, no one ever really is. Some people have to do everything themselves, but sometimes there comes an occasion where you have absolutely no idea what to do. That's where that part of you that depends on others comes in. Sometimes you need to ask for help, and that's perfectly okay!
But today I'm going to give you some reasons why its important to have a sense of independence.
First of all, as I said before, no one is there for you 100% of the time. Reasons for that are of a diverse nature. The people you may need help from will sometimes need help from you, and in those situations you need to know how to act. Another reason is because sometimes people are outright bad. Especially those who pretend they care. Usually those are people who just have you around for their own selfish purposes. (Beware of these people) and learn how to count on yourself so you don't get disappointed when one of these "friends" doesn't want to lend a helping hand. Basically what I mean is, you need to learn how to be independent because (brace yourselves for a huge life lesson) you need to accept the fact that no one is going to be around forever. Enjoy being around the people who actually care and don't be disappointed of those who don't when they bail on you.
Second reason; confidence. Having a sense of independence can drastically increase your self-confidence. Here's how it works. You have a problem. You're thinking "Ok. Can I handle this?" What you should be thinking is, "Ok. I can handle this." And think it loud. Think it brave. Think it, wait for it, CONFIDENT. Then when you handle that problem all on your own like a total badass, you're gonna feel awesome. The after effects of confidence are too many to list, but I'm pretty sure it sums up to you feeling like you can do anything, be anything, and say anything. Plus, confidence is a key ingredient to looking better, FYI. Since the way you feel inherently affects your outward appearance, you'll be emitting confidence in your gait, your posture, and your overall healthy appearance. Add a smile, and you're good to go anywhere!
One more reason. Independence is a highly admirable quality! There's a saying over here in Egypt that means, "A woman worth a 100 men." That's a saying that praises a woman having a dense amount of admirable qualities, including a sense of independence. But independence is highly appreciated in men as well. Not to be sexist or stereotypical in any way, but a man having a good sense of independence reflects on his masculinity, but that's not the only trait. Bottom line is there are a number of excellent traits to have, and independence works well with many of them in synergy.
On another point, I'd like to make it clear that there is a good sense of independence, and there is a bad one too. The good kind means that anything you can do by yourself, you have no problem of doing but you also don't mind asking for help on something that has you stumped. In contrast to that, the bad kind is more dependent on being utterly stubborn and somewhat arrogant. Some people have to do everything themselves because of many reasons, those of which include:
a) They don't want help because it makes them look weak
b) They don't want to burden others with their problems (noble but you can't do everything yourself)
c) They don't want other people interfering to avoid people screwing something up
d) They are completely used to doing everything alone and just won't have it any other way
Being an independent individual is great, but be open to people's help. Some don't actually have to solve the problem for you. They can give you some advice to speed up the problem solving process, they can be there to listen to you with open ears when you need to let out some frustration, they can join you in handling the problem, or they can point you in the right direction towards the solution. Plus, if those people truly care about you, they will appreciate being included in your life, whether it is for help in solving a problem or just for a cup of coffee and some chats about what's been going on. So be independent, but don't be stubborn and/or arrogant.
Now on to the final piece of whimsical wisdome I'd like to pass on. Here's a few tips on how to gain a sense of independence:
1. If there is something you've never done before on your own, and you can do it alone (within boundaries of safety of course), then do it.
2. If there is something you've always wanted to try but you usually like taking someone with you for experiences, how about trying it on your own? It'll be a good confidence booster if it turns out great (and a good story and lesson if it turns out not soo good).
3. Try exploring more. Explore gradually if you want to. Getting out of your comfort zone helps increase your sense of independence, so just decide on a different route on your way home every once in a way, a different means of trasportation, or just walk and take in the sights.
4. You know that phrase, "If you want something done, then do it yourself"? Well that applies in a lot of areas. You need to teach yourself how to do something you need done. Specially if that is an important task that has to be done.
5. Take yourself out every now and then. Go treat yourself to a meal at your favorite restaurant, see a movie you've been wanting to watch, go on a shopping spree, whatever suits you.
So what are your learning objectives? Be independent, but not stubborn/arrogant. Be brave and expand your circle of comfort. Learn to count on yourself because at some point no one will be around. And finally, its okay to ask for help so don't be ashamed if you can't do something without a helping hand.
Well, that's it for me this week! Hope you enjoyed reading this piece, and if you have any more tips or suggestions on how to be independent or why you think its important, leave a comment on Ask Hue Mann's facebook page! (The link's in the social bar) Share this if you know someone you think needs to learn to be a bit more independent or anyone you think could benefit from my writing. And don't forget to like the facebook page and tell me if you want to see something specifc for next weeks piece! I'll see you on Thursday! Hue Mann, over and out!! ;)