Hey guys and welcome to a rather sad and happy edition of this blog. Concerning the title; yes, Bruno is still with us, he's just not with me personally anymore. He was adopted by a family who could give him all he needs, big house, wide green yard, loving family and kids that will shower him with affection. I'm writing this post as a letter to Bruno to thank him.
Dear Bruno,
On October 22nd of 2013, my dad said "let's go get the puppy". 4 hours later, you were in my arms, 50 days old scared and confused. In a mere 45 minutes, you managed to fall asleep in my arms. I knew then that you and I were gonna be the best of companions. Throughout that year and a half of us being together, you have been not only the best life companion a person could ask for, you've also been a teacher. You taught me a brief image of what its like to be a mother. You taught me how to be patient, how to be tolerant, how to be kind but firm when necessary. You taught me how to stand my ground, how to be calm no matter what happens, what it means to assert myself. You taught me confidence and how important it is to walk with my head held up. Most importantly, you taught me how to move on and stop living in the past. You made me a better person. There is not enough hugs, food, kisses, treats, or thanks I could give you to show how incredibly grateful I am that you came into my life. I prayed to God asking him for the choice to get a dog or not. He delayed it in time for you to come home.
But, you didn't get enough from me. You weren't fulfilled. You weren't given a purpose, and I tried so hard to give you everything you rightfully deserved, yet it wasn't in my current capabilities. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that you needed a new home. I didn't want to let you go unless it was me who did so without the influence of other people, lecturing me about how things should be and how I should be taking care of you. I didn't want to listen to their words. Eventually, I listened to my heart and I felt what you needed of me. I knew then that I had to make the hardest decision of my life. I had to let go of a substantially large part of my life.
On April 28th of 2015 I made that decision. I then told you what was happening during our walk and somehow you understood. But I most of all will always remember that you licked my hand when I asked you not to forget me. It was a promise made by the bond we share. On May 1st of 2015 it was the day you were leaving to your new life. I waited with you for 3 hours never taking my eyes or ears off of you. I wanted to remember you at home being a dog in its every aspect. When the time came that your new owner arrived to take you, it was like the walk of despair and dread and heartache all wrapped into one agonizing 5 minute walk that felt like forever. You were confused getting into a new car with a complete stranger and I wish it had gone differently. I said goodbye stroking your cheek for the last time and turned away so you wouldn't see me cry and start to panic. I was alone with all those feelings going on at that moment. I still am. Thankfully, that same day on its evening my dad told me how your owner said that you were frolicking in the yard and so excited with all the space you have and the greenery and the new environment and looked happy. Only that helped me sleep.
I write this letter as the first of many thanks to come for as long as I live. You were a substantial influence on my life and that will never be undone. You gave me an experience that will never be forgotten. You helped me, in that brief year and a half, in ways no psychiatrist, no friend, or no means of comfort could have helped me in 5 years. I hope you always know how much I love you and how much I miss hearing you welcome me home after a long day at university. How much I miss our daily hug session or your ceaseless licking of my face. How much I want to climb those stairs and find you waiting for me. I'm happy and relieved and at peace knowing you're somewhere you're getting what you deserve. I'm just balancing it with a fractured heart. Time will heal, but it will never make me forget. I'm not a dog fanatic or a crazy dog/animal person. I'm a young person who has formed an unbreakable bond with an incredible and glorious animal. I don't care for anyone's judgments of how I talk about you. I will never stop because you deserve it if not more. Thank you for being that big part of my life and you'll always be in my heart and mind. I promised to come visit you and I will keep it. You'll always be my buddy, and my first dog.
Love always,
Hend